A Higher Power

As a newcomer, you may have thought or said, “What’s all this talk about God? I came here to stop using crystal meth, not to find a new religion.” Don’t freak out, you aren’t alone in feeling this way. Many of us had trouble relating to the “God thing” when we first came to CMA meetings.

Spirituality vs. Religion
Crystal Meth Anonymous is a spiritual program, not a religious one. In CMA, we believe that each individual can choose a higher power of his or her own. In other words, a God of our own understanding.

Those last four words are very important: “of our own understanding.” No one in CMA is going to tell you what kind of higher power you should believe in—and if someone does, you’re free to ignore them. CMA is open to people of all faiths and all walks of life—and that includes people who choose not to be affiliated with any spiritual “faith” at all. In CMA, there are Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Wiccans—and plenty of atheists and agnostics.

Like many of us, you may have come to your first CMA meeting without a conscious belief in a higher power. Or, perhaps you chose to avoid a higher power because you were taught, as a child, about a vengeful, punishing God. It doesn’t matter. All that is necessary to start is that you are open-minded to the idea that some power greater than yourself may be able to restore you to sanity.

Step by Step
The first step in solving any problem is recognizing and admitting it. The same holds true in solving a problem with crystal meth.

The second step in solving a problem is believing that there might be a solution. The fact that you’ve come to a CMA meeting shows that you already believe that there is a power of some kind, greater than yourself, that can help you get your life back in order. The evidence for this belief is sitting in the other chairs of the room, all around you—a whole room full of crystal meth addicts just like you who have somehow, working together, begun turning their lives around and recovering from the pain and ugliness of active addiction. You have proven, just by showing up, that you believe that there must be something here that can help you overcome your compulsion to use crystal meth and other substances. So, you’ve already taken a step in the direction of a power greater than yourself. Good move!

The third step in solving a problem, after having found evidence of a solution, is putting faith in that solution and trying it. The solution, for us, meant admitting that our own management of the problem simply wasn’t working. Crystal Meth Anonymous introduced us to a power greater than ourselves that could manage our problem. That doesn’t necessarily mean we have to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the God that we were taught about as children. It means trusting in a power of our own understanding. This is the beginning of our higher power—God, as we understand God.

Some of us adopt, or come back to, a traditional God. Others see our higher power as some kind of force. Some define it as the force of the group, while others don ’t define it at all.

Good Orderly Direction
At first, it is sufficient for the God of your understanding to be the power that CMA, as a group, obviously has to help addicts like us conquer our obsessive desire to get high. In Alcoholics Anonymous (which was the universal model for future 12-step groups such as CMA), many alcoholics define “G.O.D.” as “Group of Drunks”—while others choose to define it as “Good Orderly Direction.” Those are both concepts of a higher power that seem to work for people who have trouble relating to more metaphysical notions of God.

No one comes into Crystal Meth Anonymous to find God. Most of us come to these rooms as a last resort, desperately hoping to get rid of a terrifying drug habit that we couldn’t put down on our own. Look around in a CMA meeting. Many of us were emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually bankrupt when we first came to these rooms. We have experienced all sorts of tragedies and horrors as a result of our addictions to crystal meth and other substances. Yet, today, we are learning once again how to be happy, complete, functioning human beings living in the real world—not in a world of drug-induced fantasies. We are learning how to be free from the misery, terror, and pain of addiction to crystal meth.

As long as you are willing to make the effort and keep an open mind, your belief—and your recovery—will grow. You will learn through your own experience and the example of other people in CMA how a higher power can help you overcome your addiction and get your life back.

If you come regularly to CMA meetings for a few weeks or months, you will begin to see changes in your thinking. You’ll start to feel better, physically and emotionally. You’ll see astounding changes take place in other people’s lives, and this will help you to see and appreciate the fantastic changes taking place in your own life. We call those changes miracles. If you stick around, you might begin to feel the same way.

Remember, there is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery, and that is an attitude of indifference or intolerance towards spiritual principles. Three of these that are indispensable are: Honesty, Open-Mindedness and Willingness.